(Originally authored: Sep 21, 2012)
I’m sure you’ve met individuals like this, you know the one’s who are always competing, always criticizing, or out and out insulting you simply because they are envious or insecure. Annoying…sure, and ideally these one-offs should be ignored. But what does that do to you when this happens? What message is being sent to your subconscious about being successful and/or talented?
Well, generally it causes us to “shrink” or not discuss our successes with these types of persons. Sad, but most likely true. Why? Usually it is because we are, for the most part, good, compassionate people and we don’t want to make anyone feel bad. But who is this really helping, or who is this really hurting? You are not helping that person by hiding yourself and your talents nor are you helping yourself. Further, you are actually hurting yourself in the long run, because you are trapping yourself and shrinking so as not to stir any insecurities in your spouse/partner/friend.
I read this poem by Maryanne Williamson on one of my older shows several years ago, as it sums up exactly these notions that I am writing about today. It’s called “Our Deepest Fear:”
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Pretty good, huh?
So you might ask, what do we do to keep peace with our friends who might be having us feel this way? In short, nothing. But because this is sort of a commentary or blog, I’ll offer my opinion. You have two choices in this, you can either: attain better company, or: try and help the person/persons by building them up. The upside is, we should be trying to do this anyway and it is very positive. The downside? Not everyone will receive praise or help from you. This just means they are not ready to hear it or you weren’t the person meant to convey it. Either thing is okay, as one thing we must learn to do is allow the natural flow of everything. And that includes our interactions with people.
Happy growing, (and for the love of God, keep shining)!